"Great running truck, except...."

A "great running truck"? Ooooh, tell me more.

Like, does it die when you come to an idle-stop at stop signs? Sure does!

Like, do the brakes work? Sure, until the fluid leaks out...as it does.

Like, do the lights work? Sure do...but only the high beams, and not the brake lights at night.

Anything else work super awesomely? You betcha! Well, everything else, except the driver's door, which only works from the inside.

I'll be right over.

Moron

Well, Levi, I'd love to call you, but you don't answer the phone and have yet to set up voicemail. Don't you have to do that before you leave the store? Moron.

All it needs is "a little love."

This one wins the coveted "Understated of the Day" award. This dwarf race car -- not to be confused with a midget race car, because those two are actually very different things -- was once great and can be again: "This was once a very nice car and needs a little love to get back to racing."

Also, it needs an engine. No big deal.

Apparently, though, engines are not a big deal to anyone in dwarf racing: "Missing is engine, brakes, seat, and a few other misc items." OTHER miscellaneous items. Sure.

"Runs great...can't turn left"

Actual conversation with the seller (paraphrased a touch, really, just a touch):
Me: How's the truck?

Him: Oh, it's in great shape.
Me: Any problems?
Him: Not really.
Me: Anything lingering on the car that you'd fix if you had the time or the inclination?
Him: Oh, well, the truck dies when you turn left.
Me: Every time you turn left?
Him: Yes, but if you give it a little throttle, it usually stays on.
Me: But, other than that, it's in good shape?
Him. Other than that.
Lovely.

"Good shape...bad transmission"

First, remind yourself that the Durango you bought 11 years ago isn't really an SUV at all, because it's built on a truck platform. (Well, it's still a 2001 Dodge, so delude yourself all the way to the service department...and be sure make friends.) Second, no matter how horrible of a vehicle it's been and how badly it shimmied and rattled when the transmission went out, it's still a freakin' Dodge Durango...so it'll always be gold on wheels, baby!

"No motor or tranny and NO RUST!!"

You had me at "NO RUST!!" Actually, you had me at "no motor or tranny." But, thank god, no rust. Idiot.

"Runs great...transmission is blown out"

Well, sure it runs great. The worst-kept secret in the automotive world is that a transmission is not actually necessary to the smooth operation of a truck. Perhaps you could retitle that, "Runs great...well, it did, before the transmission blew out" or "Runs great...if you add in a mortgage payment or two for a new transmission." Thanks, player.

This is not an easy task.

In the interest of keeping the dim hope alive that I will be able to afford my son's college tuition (at 7, he already has his eyes set on a pricey private college) and in the interest of making my home and landscaping projects easier, I am on the hunt for an affordable truck. And by affordable, I mean cheap. And by cheap, I mean $1,000, all in -- purchase price + repairs.

That is the quest: to find a decent, running truck for at or below $1,000. Those of you who know trucks know that this is not an easy task.

Craigslist is the obvious and best source for used cars these days, and especially so when you're looking for an affordable car or truck. However, in the months that I have been on this quest, I have noticed that many posters take poetic license with their language to entice the less-careful readers. My favorite of these posts include the descriptions that a truck "runs great" but that you should "bring a trailer," or is in "great condition" but "needs a transmission." Buddy, it's one or the other.

So, to pass along the best of these posts and to simply highlight some of the candidates in my hunt for a $1,000 truck, I have started this blog and hope that you find it entertaining.