"Great running truck, except...."

A "great running truck"? Ooooh, tell me more.

Like, does it die when you come to an idle-stop at stop signs? Sure does!

Like, do the brakes work? Sure, until the fluid leaks out...as it does.

Like, do the lights work? Sure do...but only the high beams, and not the brake lights at night.

Anything else work super awesomely? You betcha! Well, everything else, except the driver's door, which only works from the inside.

I'll be right over.

Moron

Well, Levi, I'd love to call you, but you don't answer the phone and have yet to set up voicemail. Don't you have to do that before you leave the store? Moron.

All it needs is "a little love."

This one wins the coveted "Understated of the Day" award. This dwarf race car -- not to be confused with a midget race car, because those two are actually very different things -- was once great and can be again: "This was once a very nice car and needs a little love to get back to racing."

Also, it needs an engine. No big deal.

Apparently, though, engines are not a big deal to anyone in dwarf racing: "Missing is engine, brakes, seat, and a few other misc items." OTHER miscellaneous items. Sure.

"Runs great...can't turn left"

Actual conversation with the seller (paraphrased a touch, really, just a touch):
Me: How's the truck?

Him: Oh, it's in great shape.
Me: Any problems?
Him: Not really.
Me: Anything lingering on the car that you'd fix if you had the time or the inclination?
Him: Oh, well, the truck dies when you turn left.
Me: Every time you turn left?
Him: Yes, but if you give it a little throttle, it usually stays on.
Me: But, other than that, it's in good shape?
Him. Other than that.
Lovely.

"Good shape...bad transmission"

First, remind yourself that the Durango you bought 11 years ago isn't really an SUV at all, because it's built on a truck platform. (Well, it's still a 2001 Dodge, so delude yourself all the way to the service department...and be sure make friends.) Second, no matter how horrible of a vehicle it's been and how badly it shimmied and rattled when the transmission went out, it's still a freakin' Dodge Durango...so it'll always be gold on wheels, baby!

"No motor or tranny and NO RUST!!"

You had me at "NO RUST!!" Actually, you had me at "no motor or tranny." But, thank god, no rust. Idiot.

"Runs great...transmission is blown out"

Well, sure it runs great. The worst-kept secret in the automotive world is that a transmission is not actually necessary to the smooth operation of a truck. Perhaps you could retitle that, "Runs great...well, it did, before the transmission blew out" or "Runs great...if you add in a mortgage payment or two for a new transmission." Thanks, player.